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30 maggio The Pirates SagaWho would have thought that a ride from Disneyland would end up as a Illiad journey on the big screen? I swear that is what it is! We went and saw Pirates of the Caribean III last night and it was GOOD. Very intricate plot, good characters, good conflict, good little romances and plot twists. It was fabulous. It just made me think of the Illiad or the Odyssey or the saga of Jason. I mean really. It was this huge hero's journey and not that that's bad, it's just odd. Pirates started out as such a funny little ditty and by the third one it's this big old adult movie with real plot and conflict... They grow up so fast! :) 24 maggio WowThe season Finale of Season Three LOST was last night but HM and I haven't seen it yet... today. We had his mom and Sonnet tape it for us and we're watching it today. AH! You can watch them online at www.abconline.com (I think) and that's usually what we do since they come on Wednesday nights and we are busy those nights. LOST is so good but at the same time, frustrating! Sometimes it seems like they barely make an progress on the story at all and then the episode is over. So this is the end of Season Three *sigh* and what will we do until next Fall??? I mean really?!? It's like having a million dollars but never being able to spend it... that kinda feeling...
HM is such a sweetheart. It's amazing to me that him and I ever made it together and that we have been dating for a whole year now. It seems like two seconds... Sometimes when he tells me stories of things he's done, it's hard to believe. Hard to believe that my sweet HM ever did those things or that the other women in his life were so horrible. He wasn't innocent, that's for sure, but still, things with us are so great, it's hard to imagine him with some other woman and have it be just ordinary. That's the only thing that makes me feel better sometimes: when HM point out to me that him and I are different than any relationship he's had, and that things are special with us, prearranged, ordained and perfect. Things before may have been horrible but that's all the terrible past and here we are in the wonderful present and it's an amazing thing.
I got a call from the Dean's office the other day, asking about one of my students. "What kind of student is he?" they asked. "great, I replied, we love him" The secretary just kinda hmfed and hung up. I didn't connect it until today when JR said to me:
"Oscar must be in Mexico by now"
"Mexico?" I said, "why is he in Mexico? "
"Because he got kicked out of school."
"What??? Why??????"
"For Tagging."
"Ah... that makes sense"
(the kid is constantly drawing all kinda of stuff I imagine I will see under bridges in LA someday)
"But why Mexico?"
"That's where his family sent him because he was getting into trouble here."
After that period, I went to check my box and there was a paper asking for Oscar's Final Exams so the Dean's office could give them to him next Tuesday... I wonder if the Dean's office knows the kid has already skipped out to old "Mehico"? :)
The funny thing about all that is the kid who told that to me: There used to be a threesome in my class, with JR being the ringleader and all his little homies have been either expelled or sent to other programs in the course of the year and so he was hanging out with Oscar and now Oscar is out too... makes me wonder how influential JR is on his friends or if he is just the only smart one who doesn't get caught...??? Of all of them, he is the smartest, maybe even over Oscar, although Oscar was pretty smart. He at least would do his work whereas JR could do his work but chooses to just sit there. I was almost excited when they started hangin out together in class because I hoped that Oscar would encourage JR to work more but it looks like it had the opposite effect... That is the weird thing. If you were to ask me: who would you predict would get suspended from school next? JR's name would be the top one on my list! But yet he has survived this whole year, never been suspended, never been in trouble... interesting huH? 23 maggio Full HouseMan, last night was CRAZY! All the family was over there: FOR THE THIRD DAY IN A ROW: Sunday, Monday (Adder's B-day) and then last night.
Every night we eat, and then snack and then eat more. Then we play GAMES. Gee, my favorite...
Last night was also crazy because I was trying to help D do his final project for English, different teacher and school, but same subject. He had done a bunch already but then we had to go through and do all the fine tuning and it took HOURS with all the distractions.
It was another time I craved "our own place" where D and I could work together and he wouldn't get so upset and stressed with everyone leaning over his shoulder and critisizing him or harassing him, including HM!
See, D isn't always very motivated to be a good student, but he can be if he's forced to be (i.e. if he knows he won't be able to go out with his friend on the weekend, or get his phone taken away). :) So yesterday, I looked at his stuff and saw what he had (which he thought was a lot but really wasn't that much) and told him to work on it for an hour that night and then start right after school so we had plenty of time. I don't know that he did that night because the whole clan was over playing games and such until almost 11pm. (these people have no bedtimes!) So I don't think he worked on it that night, but he did come straight home from school and work on diligently until I showed up about 4:30pm.
About this same time, Adder and his girlfriend, P&T, show up. They have taken to hanging out at the house for the last week. Why? good question. Well, let's just say that it's so Adder stays out of trouble. It probably won't work for long... but hey, at least it's an attempt. Anyway, so they are there, rummaging through the fridge, hollaring how hungry they are, why can't they eat the string cheese and mumbling about "since when did Tigger get HIS OWN cheese???" and whatever while HM and I try to straighten up and keep an eye on D...
Then HM's mom comes in from the store and we all go to help her unload the groceries. P&T yells at D to come help but he just says (probably not very sweetly) "I can't! I have homework!!!" P&T stomps out the door grumbling about "Why does he always have to have such a bad attitude with me?!?" I just laughed: He has that attitude with everyone! :)
So as I work with D, HM will come in to check on things and give D another lecture about how he should have gotten this done sooner, and what time was it? He should have it done already! And then D will wail that he would be done except I am making him to all these perfection things! Well that's what you should do! HM will respond, that means you'll get an A! At that point, I chase HM off and try to get D focused again. Those repeat over and over during the evening and D gets yelled at by other people in the room for being rude to HM (which he is) and D freaks out and tells them to stay out of it, and we (yes WE) all respond that we will if he would behave and quit being a brat. I specifically say I won't help him anymore if he's a jerk to everyone. Fine.
So then comes CR, L and Tigger. Tigger is being good, running around, but hey, even more people, playing ping pong, playing Guitar Hero and talking...
So about this time, HM decides that it would be nice if Andre could come and play in the backyard. I say okay and then we can walk him later... Bad idea! He comes and goes into the backyard... and then pushes open the door to the garage (which he had already discovered was rotted out and doesn't even close) and so he's in the garage... and for some reason, who knows why, P&T decides to take Tigger out there... to see Andre??? So Andre jumps on her, she's holding Tigger out of the way, and he's screaming because Andre is twice his size, and P&T moans she has a bruise and shows it to me about five different times the rest of the evening. Then I guess CR decided to give him some food??? So he goes back there and Andre again jumps on him and gets mud all over his leg. He isn't upset really, but washes it off and then comes to show me (thanks, that's really what I want to hear: my dog mauled you and got you dirty.) So finally, they get him out of the garage, and he goes into the backyard and then I hear: "hey Lisa, Andre is in the neighbor's yard!" He had broken through the fence and was running around in their backyard. I was fed up--this all happened in about 1/2 hour! So I was like, where is his leash and D and I went back there and he was being CRAZY! Like weird hyper and just psycho. While we were standing there he did a barrell roll through a small puddle, COVERED himself in mud and dirty water and D had to run away from him inside. I caught him finally and tied him to a tree and went inside. He WAILED for a good 20 minutes out there and was making so much raquet, I finally marched out there, picked up one of Tigger's little toy bats and smacked him with it. I told him to be quiet and lay down and marched back inside. He was quiet. I looked out about about 15 minutes later and he was still laying down, looking sad. Freaking crazy dog... When we finally did take him out to take him on a walk, HM said he had big old tears on both cheeks... I'm a horrible mother and my dog is a psycho case....
Okay, so HM's mom has dinner ready and everyone goes in the other room thank goodness. ST and DA came as well and the whole house was buzzing with people. After dinner, Adder and P&T were going to a movie and D was supposed to go but he couldn't because we weren't finished. He was mad about it but oh well.
So we finally finished and we were trying to figure out the binding because we needed to print them double sided but the printer was running out of ink... so we thought maybe we could just glue the pages together... So we were discussing this, and HM and I were standing on the loft above the front room. D was standing by the ping pong table looking up at us... so somewhere in this fiasco, L decided to come sit on the couch right behind D, to talk on her cell phone. We were talking and all of a sudden, L up and kicked D hard in the butt and yelled "I'm trying to talk on the phone here! Quit yelling so loud!!" I was just in shock and D was mad. He kinda fell forward against the table and I'm sure would have fallen down if it weren't for the table. HM didn't see it happen because he was talking to someone else and I wasn't sure what to do. I almost yelled at her but then stopped myself because it's not my house and it would only make things worse. It's not like L likes me THAT much in the first place but still, I didn't want to cause a scene. I'm not technically D's mother or even his step-mother (yet) so I shouldn't get so defensive but I couldn't believe she did that. We all tried to just be like "whatever" and kept talking but I was irritated. I mean if for nothing else there's a reason they are MOBILE phones!!!
We did finally finish though and about that time, the VISITORS showed up--HM's mom's cousins and their three kids who were all staying over on their trip back to Utah (I think). So add another 5 people to the mix... and there you go.
The project did come out VERY VERY VERY good and as long as his teacher is not TOO anal retentive, he should get an A but he might get a B. I hope for all our sakes that he gets an A!!! When we were at Kinkos getting it bound, there were two other boys with their moms there, getting theirs bound and I must say that D's was the best of those three at least :)
I will admit though that I am tired. Yesterday was a mess!!! We didn't get finished until about 11:30 and I didn't get to sleep until almost 12... ay... I am so ready for school to be over so I can stop getting up at 5:30am!!! RecipesSo it's another movie day here in class and Ms. F is bored to death!!!
So this was my project today: Recipes. I love to cook but I must admit that I haven't been much of one as a single person. It's no fun to cook for one person and since I've been single for well... around 10 years! I haven't cooked that much for awhile. My mother taught me to cook when I was home and so I feel confident I have the basics but I don't really have any "favorite recipes" that I feel I have really tried enough to call my own. I mean this is the entire list:
Mexican Lasagna.
That's about the only one I have done enough to just do it off the top of my head.
Peanutbutter Pie I would also add to that list...
And hey, I can make baked potatoes in the microwave like nobody's business, I'm telling you, I can make them really good.
Fried Tuna Sandwiches... those are my only invention as a chef. I made them up with just the memory of a sandwich like that my mom used to cook and barely remember now... They are to die for and will fill you up forever!
But see, all of these things are packed with sugar or fat or carbs, not really a very "healthy" repetoire of recipes really. In the past I have cooked for large groups that I usually had something that feeds the masses: potato bar, Taco soup, lasagna, or tacos, something like that. Not exactly cuisine! :)
So today, I searched for recipes that looked good to try out this summer. Last summer, I generally had the whole day with just Andre and I doing our thing.
We usually go for a walk first thing,
come back and water the garden,
then work on some stuff for a few hours on the computer
(last summer I was working on my Masters)
and then fix lunch,
take a nap :)
and then take a shower and get ready to go out with HM when he got off work.
It's a hard life, but someone's got to do it
This summer I want to add a bunch of trips to the beach in there, maybe some rides on my bike (that I don't have yet). Just more time outside.
So I figure I have this unique opportunity to practice my cooking on myself and if they are good, share them, but if not, who's to know?! :)
Once HM and I get married, I would like him and me and D to rotate fixing dinner and have D learn to cook a bit and also start eating at home more and spend time together. That's the plan.
Anyway, so far, this is what I have picked:
Tangy Cheese Ball Appetizers
Peanut Butter Snack Balls
Seven Layer Salad
Pear and Tuna Salad
Monte Cristo Sandwiches
Chicken and Apple Sandwiches
Baked Tomato with Egg and Bacon
Chedder Swiss Strata
Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffins
Chocolate Peanut Butter Pudding
Chicken Quesadillas
Glazed Grilled Peaches
Vanilla Custard
Pink Honey Lemonade
Patty's Pasta Salad
Sausage Brunch Muffins
Chocolate Chip Banana Muffins
To Die For Blueberry Muffins
Honey Chicken Kabobs
Doesn't that make you hungry?
21 maggio Bored, Babies and DJsSo this is the last week of school and I wish I could say we were in the computer lab today but we aren't. The library is closed, the computer lab is full and after throwing a fit for a week, I lost the argument to be able to move the laptops--which are sitting in the library being used by NO ONE--to my classroom so we could use them here. Apparently, they are not to be moved. I thought that was the whole idea of buying laptops... but what do I know. So they are sitting there doing nothing and so are we. We are watching "Remember the Titans" because we have nothing else to do. Frustrating. So far I have watched the first 45 minutes of this movie three times now. It's GREAT.
So anyway, I am bored is what it comes down to. I wish school was over already. I am ready for summer!!!
So the continuing story of CR, L and Tigger. Tigger showed up at Grandma and Grandpa's last week with a shirt on that said: "I'm going to be a big brother" :) L is pregnant! That's good right? I wasn't there that night but HM told me that the news did not go over well I guess. It was just CR there and I guess he was burnt that his parents didn't really seem that excited and then went to bed without saying goodnight. I know that they are worried but it's not directed to CR, it's more about L and how she treats her one child, much less another one... CR was mysteriously absent this last week--they usually are over every night hanging around but they weren't this week and I think we all suspected it was because they were offended at us all. Not me because I wasn't there, but just with the general family. Sunday CR and Tigger came over for Sunday dinner and CR said that he and Tigger had gone to see "Shrek" by themselves the night before....hmmm... We all harrassed him and things sayings "ya thanks for inviting us" to try and make the point that he was sulking and we weren't trying to ignore him but he claimed he called his dad but dad obviously didn't let anyone else know. Ouch...
Tigger has really been doing a lot better thanks to some intervention from HM and his Dad. Now when Tigger starts to screech, HM will sternly ask him "you want me to put you in the crib???" and Tigger stops crying. HM keeps him busy and keeps him from crying and since HM has started doing it, so has his Dad (grandpa). CR and L still try to argue him into stopping but at least he doesn't scream the entire time. He really is a sweet kid, he just needs someone to be the adult and he's fine. I think a playmate would be good for him and maybe make things easier for his parents with someone to compare him to or something, I dunno. I think everyone is just scared to have TWO Tiggers running around crying themselves sick is all...
Well the latest funny news I guess for HM is that he and his friend Uncle bought a bunch of scratching equipment. I guess you could say it's DJ equipment. They were at some store looking for something else and found that they had all these turn tables, speakers and things for 50% or more off so HM bought these two turntables, a mixer and some headphones all for a really cheap price. He and Uncle are like two kids putting it together and trying to get it all working right. Friday when I got off school I called him and he said he and Uncle were doing "important DJ man stuff" :) but they were almost done and he would be able to meet up with me soon. He's so funny. I went over there and helped them, mostly as a researcher because they couldn't figure out why their speakers weren't going right and they were getting all this feedback from the one and so I looked it up and found that it was because their omhs were off between the two speakers and the other part. Anyway, I guess they are working on it today. HM has been between projects and I think he starts a new job tomorrow so today is his play day :) He's so funny, he makes me laugh every day.
So after I hung out with HM for a bit, it was time for he and Uncle to leave for their meeting so I went home. They were going to an early one so he could get done earlier and come hang out with me (of course) :) So I went home and about 7 I get a call from D.
"Hey, what are you doing?" he asks.
"Nothing really," I said, "Just sitting around here at home. What's up?"
"Well, I was wondering, could you come pick me up? Like right now? as soon as possible???"
"Sure, no problem" I said. "I'll be there in a minute... where are you?"
He told me and said again, "please hurry"
I was like, what??? I wonder what is wrong???
So I rush over there, thinking something must have happened, some girl dumped him, he got in a fight, or worse.
So when he gets in the car, I see: his friend had accidentaly spilled Dr. Pepper ALL OVER his creme pants! :) So he was very embarrassed and I guess they were supposed to go meet up with some girls to go to a movie right there in just a few minutes and ya... So I took him back so he could change and then brought him back :) Funny kid...
Anyway, and finally, the latest cute thing HM had done: last night we were playing "Imagine If..." with the family. The game goes like this: you choose one person, and then choose a card. The card had a question like "if this person was an animal, what would they be?" and then there are 6 answer choices and everyone votes on which of the choices best fits. On this one question, HM was the person and the question asked "If HM could do anything he wanted for one day, what would he do?" Of the six choices, one was "sleep in until 1pm" and the other was "spend quality time with his spouse." Now the way you win, is you have to vote with the majority. So I suspected he would choose the first answer but I voted for the sleeping in one. HM voted for the spending quality time with his spouse! :) Isn't that sweet? :) He even looked all shocked when everyone voted for the sleeping thing too and looked at all of us like we were crazy. :) He's sure a sweetheart. :) 18 maggio ONE more week left of schoolIsn't the crazy? one week and then three days of finals and we are out of here! This is my bipolar time of year I have learned. On the one hand I am so sick of some of my kids, putting up with the crap and the stupid excuses and the laziness. On the other hand, I start to feel sad that my students are leaving, even the bad ones, and that in many cases, I will never see them again. I feel sad that I couldn't do more and I feel sad that our time is over. I get attached to my kids and I feel at the end of the year that I have to give up my own children to strangers. Even when the school day is over, I feel restless and agitated. HM is a sweetheart though and tends to be really good at keeping me happy and doing things to calm me down but man, this time of year is hard.
Today I had to finally talk to these two kids of mine who plagarized their entire portfolios 3rd quarter. I found every single essay/poem online at one place or another and confronted them both with it. We talked and I told them that they had to redo the whole thing and that if they did, I would change their grade and all would be forgiven. Well they turned in their 4th quarter portfolio and their remakes and one kid did okay, but the other kid turned in another portfolio that was 100% copied from other sources. I took the whole thing to the Dean and asked him to please step in now since I had already done as much as I could and he said "Well I guess we can suspend them or something" But that was two days ago and he still hasn't talked to them obviously because they were still in class today and knew nothing of it at all yet. So I talked to them and whatever, I don't know what else to do with them. Even their "reflections" on their grade are copied off each other--exactly the same in both portfolios. The Dean didn't seem that excited about it when he learned it wasn't proof of graffitti but just some plagarized work. It's their entire grade but next to gang fights I guess it doesn't rank very high. Basically they both get an F for the entire semester and that's it. What else can I do? I don't know. 17 maggio Poor TruckersI have this thought every morning: poor truckers.
Sure they are the biggest ones on the road, but still.
They always have to let everyone else in: everyone expects them to just let you in becuase hey, they are so big. We expect them to be patient and forgiving--I mean really, when was the last time you got the bird for cutting off a deisel? ya, never...
They always go the slowest: does a truck driver ever watch the little sports cars speeding past him and long for his own little car back home?
They get cut off by EVERYONE: how frustrating that must be! Everyone expects you to be paying perfect attention and make way. I wonder some days if they feel like just running us all over...
And my final thought, and I've said this before I'm sure: Deisels remind me of Dinosaurs. I remember learning in school about how big dinosaurs were and wondering what it would be like if dinosaurs were around today... I think they would be like the deisels... only with long necks sticking out in places... We are like the little guppy dinos... more like piranas really at times...
Pesky LibrariansWhat is it about librarians that makes them crazy? I have met a lot of them in the course of my life--as a teacher and just as a reader--and man, have you ever met one that was a normal, nice person? I haven't? Nice maybe... but definitely not normal! I think something has to be permenantly warped to take the job and man, I think our librarian here has been sniffing the book binding glue or something because man, she is NUTS!
First off, I heard about her before I even came here to FHS. She is notoriously cranky and hard to deal with. She just has this way about her... where at the end of every conversation you feel like kicking something just to let off the frustration from a mere conversation. She is one of those people who can turn any comment, any remark, any question into a chance to be demeaning, autocratic and just childishly bossy.
Last week I went in to see her "calendar" for the laptops in the library and to see if there were any other days open for us to come. I came to her door and she said:
"hello miss lisa, how may I help you?"
(you know it's going to bad when someone calls you "miss" and then your first name like they are trying to use your title but you didn't quite make the mark?)
"Hi, :) " i said, "I came to talk to you about the laptop scheduling: now we are coming next Thursday and Fr....
You most certainly are not! Because if you were, you would have had to talk to me because I'm the one in charge of it!!!!
Anne. I emailed you. You responded.
Oh. Well. (looks it up on her computer) Oh, yes, i remember, you did, but I didn't schedule you because I never heard back from you
(other than the email where I said "okay, that sounds good"? Right...)
Okay, well I was wondering if there are any other days open because my class nee...
The library is closing on the 18th so no.
But... we just need to use the laptops so... couldn't we just take them back to the classroom?
Absolutely not. The laptops cannot be moved.
Well... why not? They're laptops, isn't that the whole idea?
Well maybe in the future you should plan a little better so this doesn't happen.
Well what are we supposed to do then? My kids need more time on the computers and there isn't much time left.
Well maybe you should tell the kids to just work faster.
I LAUGH: right, well, maybe you should try telling them? Because that won't work for me. Why can't the laptops be moved?
They cannot, they must stay here, that's the rule missy and I think you need to learn to have a better attitude...
"So do you" I said as I walked away.
GRR
We've been in the library on the "unmoveable" laptops for the last two days--which by the way, are not the library's possession, they just happen to be there and she doesn't really have any power over where they go, except in her own little head... but I can't get them because the AP won't write me back or do anything... probably scared of her...
The next day, Adam, the lab tech to the big lab, came back kinda chuckling to himself and he said that Anne had come up to him and said, rather conspiritingly:
Is Ms. F in the lab today?
yes, why?
How is she doing?
Perfect. AS ALWAYS.
I heard she emailed the AP about the laptops. If I was him I would be like, why do I care about what you want when you are only going to be here for 3 more weeks???
Because there are three more weeks of school and until that is over she is still teaching Foothill students who deserve a good education!!!
And BESIDES! (he continued) Ms. F is one of the best English teachers at this school! When her classes come to the lab, they work, they produce real work and they respect her and behave!
If anything, I think Adam is the most put out by her comments to me. It's kinda funny really but also very sweet of him. After he told me that story, I laughed and said, "awh, that's sweet Adam! Am I your favorite?"
You're one of them! he said, still kinda mad about it all.
haha...
So we have been in the library for two days and she was very nice to me yesterday actually, amazingly so. But she was quite snippy with the kids. She kept trying to take over my class and would order them all to clean up and shut down about… oh, like TEN MINUTES before the bell was about to ring. So they would and I would try really hard not to roll my eyes… then they would all stand up to go… and she would yell at them for standing up… Gr… and then she would look at me like, "help me out here, get your class in line" and I felt like saying: "hey lady, if you don’t want them to stand up and look bored then don’t tell them to clean up so early!!! It takes the average HS student less than 20 seconds to “clean up” GET A LIFE!" You made the problem; you get all worked up about it!” I was irritated.
Today she stood up in front of my class about 3 minutes before to tell them to clean up and I was right there and caught her and told her no, it’s fine, they still have a few minutes and she said “Well I’ll just let you handle your own class then” Gee. Ya think? What a good idea! I let my 3rd period kids work right to the bell (because they were all very concentrated and working SO GOOD when in walks Bradley to do my unannounced observation…haha…), and she told me after that she “would rather everyone shut down before the bell rings so we can count. These (the laptops) are very easy to put in a backpack” Right… 15 maggio It's the end of the year...It's harder this time of year to be teaching low level kids. I have probably 50% of my students failing my class and there's nothing I can really do about it. They have not done ANYTHING all quarter. Despite all my efforts. These are the worst grades I have ever given to any group of kids and it frustrates me.
Even more frustrating is that now we are starting their Final TOP TEN portfolio which is compiling everything together and highlighting the TEN best pieces of writing they have done all year. This process is usually good because they kids see how much they have really done all year. But it's depressing for me because you see how LITTLE some kids have done. Some of them barely have enough work to fill up ONE portfolio, much less the four they were supposed to have. They can't even do a Top Ten because they haven't written that much all year... I have several kids who got NOTHING back at all. Nothing. A whole year's worth of work and NOTHING. Wow... I don't think I could even do that. I would get too bored but these kids have no problems with just sitting there, day after day, staring at papers in front of them and not even bothering to write their names on them. What a waste. To a certain degree you can say it's bad teaching, bad schools, whatever, but when it really comes down to it, the old saying is so true: you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. In education we send to try and drown our horses, hold their heads under for minutes at a time until we hope they just go unconscious. Unfortunately, even this won't get even a drop of water in, and the horse is mad at you for even trying such a thing.
I feel bad now about leaving Foothill but on days like these, I think, wow, thank goodness... maybe it will get better... but maybe not. I guess I could go to GV and find ya: exactly the same kids. It makes me want to quit teaching altogether when this is all the good it does... 14 maggio All is WellWell we made it. It's Monday again and it feels like I have been gone forever even though it was only a couple of days. A lot happened in the last couple days... I woke up this morning in the exact same position as last night, feeling just as exhausted as when I went to sleep.
But the gist of it all, and stories in a minute is this: HM passed! He talked to my dad and everything is good. My dad thanked HM for "stepping up and being a man" and granted his permission for us to get married. Both my parents were very pleased with him and liked him and his family a lot, said they all seemed like very nice people. HM told him that him and I would come to Utah to visit after I got out of school so they could get to know each other better and discuss wedding plans. I thought that was a very good idea for him to suggest. This weekend seemed to be a lot of everyone being on their best behavior--his family and mine--and so I think going to see them was an excellent proposal (that's my man!) :) and it should be really good. It'll be nice to go to my house and show HM my house and all that goes on there. It explains a lot when you see Forsytheville I think. :)
Anyway, so this is what happened:
Friday afternoon, HM and I, and his parents, left for San Diego. We listened to a book on CD on the way that was really good and HM slept for a bit with his mouth wide open (I took pictures! haha...). I got really car sick on the way there--I can't remember the last time I was a back seat passenger on a long trip... So I was very thankful to get out of the car when we got there about four hours later.
My family has a really hard time getting here though--much worse than a little case of car sickness. They drove a 15 passenger van that is fueled by Natural Gas. NG is supposed to be very cheap and alot better fuel option--especially these days--and so they thought this would be the best way, and it is, only there is one problem: they had the hardest time finding NG stations. They wandered around Vegas for a good two hours looking for stations that were non-existant, closed, non-functioning or specialized to only take a certain type of payment. At one they finally befriended this lady who agreed to fill them up on her card and they just gave her cash. The trip should have taken about 9 hours, maybe 10 and it ended up taking... oh like 13? 14? By the time they got there, they were all wasted and sick to death of that van I am sure. I felt bad for all of them!
We got there about 1/2 hour before them so we got checked in--a process that took at least 20 minutes of that time since they couldn't find my parents' reservations--they spelled the name with an S instead of an F--and then HM's dad credit card was denied so he did it on HM's and then mine was denied but then another one worked. Then at the end, come to find out, all the ones that were "denied" weren't actually and were charged so we were paying for about six rooms... so the lady had to go back and cancel that payment and this payment and put it back on this one, and it was a MESS, but it did work out in the end. We ordered pizza that came just as my family showed up (good) but it wasn't that good of pizza (bad) but I don't think anyone cared that much since they were so hungry and tired.
It was funny to watch everyone though--we all packed into one room to eat and talk and mostly everyone just stared at each other and sat there like "I am an Angel" :) There was conversation--harrassing HM and I or telling stories etc--but mostly everyone just acted like innocent little lambs and kept up pretenses. I thought it was rather funny as I was the only one there who knew EVERYONE there and how they were really like :) My dad thought HM's dad was rather quiet and boring (HA, not true) but mostly, they all seemed to like each other and had a good time. We went to bed then and I chatted with my parents while HM, his bro and his dad took off to "check out the PLNU campus" for tomorrow (really, they went to go get ice cream!) :) No, they did check out the campus too, and that was very good but still :)
So the next day, I got up and got ready and HM's dad took us to the campus and dropped us off. I went and got my cap and gown and HM went to save seats. It seemed like we stood there FOREVER. I saw a few of the people I had classes with and three of my professors but that's it. Just as I was walking in I saw Scott, who is like one of my main teachers, so that was cool. Mostly though, I didn't know anyone there.
The robe was pretty though, I've always liked the robes and HM bought me a leia (sp?) of flowers to wear (my first ever). The families finally arrived and the graduation started. It was right on the coast, in this little amphitheater. Down on the floor, we were all hot in our black robes but my family in the stands--in the shade--were freezing. It was a nice cute little ceremony and the whole thing was over in an hour. That's my kind of graduatioN! :) They put these hoods on you and that is cool too, and I had a good time with the people next to me... nothing like having a good time with strangers! :)
A few tidbits from the ceremony:
--the girl who gave the opening prayer said "Lord God" about 24 times. She would sound very eloquent one minute and then the next she would say somethink like "it was, like, so awesome" :) It was interesting prayer to be sure and was also a GOOD five minutes long... forever and forever long.
--the lady sitting next to me was a crack up! The choir got up and sang a few numbers and she turns to me and says "what are we at Hogwarts???" I was busting up because that was exactly what it sounded like! You know where they sing "Boil, boil, toil and trouble" at the beginning of one of the movies? It sounded just like that! haha...
--My brother Chris told me afterwards that he had a movie of me walking across the stage as well as a picture of the same thing... from the same camera... Ya... he taped a girl who looked similiar to me I guess....
--The closing prayer was given by a supposed reverend who was graduating. He READ it. It was pages and pages long and frankly, for having composed it beforehand, it wasn't that great. The lady beside me, in the middle of prayer of course, turns to me and says, very loud, "Is he reading that???" lol...Ya we were sitting like three rows from him so I'm sure he heard... but hopefully not...
Anyway, so afterwards we all go outside the place and take pictures, right. They had booths all over selling flowers and HM's dad gave me a dozen because he got to me first and then my dad gave me a dozen. I felt bad when my dad gave me his becaus I already had some and I think he felt like it didn't mean that much. HM told me later that he had told his dad NOT to buy me flowers. "Let her own father buy her flowers, that's their right. I bought her the leia, let her family buy her the flowers!" But he wouldn't listen and insisted that "She's our girl too!" and bought them for me anyway. It was sweet but I think I agree with HM.
So after that we went to Fuddruckers for lunch (everyone was starving) and HM and I got the third degree from my dad in front of everyone for not having a date yet and not having all the details. I have talked to my mom about what we have planned and I'm pretty sure she had already told him but he was just trying to provoke us into announcing things we didn't want to discuss in front of the whole group sitting at the table. So we dodged and dodged and frankly, by the end I was a bit mad about it all. I wanted to just sit down and talk to my dad about it all but there wasn't the opportunity that day with everyone standing around us all the time. HM insisted that I needed to talk to my dad and explain before he talked to him about the whole "permission" thing but again, there wasn't time for that.
After that we decided to go to SeaWorld. I really wanted to go and so we went but I know that it was very expensive for my family paying for seven people to get in... I thought it was the best thing to do though, despite the cost, because I felt it was something they would all LOVE and remember forever. We went to the dolphin show but they weren't really having it because one of the dolphins just had a baby. We walked around and looked at a bunch of stuff but everyone seemed tired and started talking about going back to the hotel. My brother wasn't feeling good, they were tired... and really, I think it was more that they were all hot in the california heat. So I persuaded them to go the dolphin petting pool and then to go pet the sting rays. That helped a lot and everyone was in a much better mood after that started to have a good time. Finally, we all headed over to the Shamu Show and they LOVED it, especially Wil. They said they thought Wil put indents in the cement from jumping up and down so much during the show, he liked it so much.
So we finally went back to the hotel, ordered Chinese food and then all packed in to watch "The Shooter" together. Mostly, my family did that and HM was with me of course. It was a good ending to the day. I said goodbye to HM and we all got in bed.
It was then, laying in bed with all the lights off, that my dad and mom and I finally talked about everything, discussed it all and everything was fine. We talked until about 1:30 in the morning and it was all good. We got up next morning at 7, helped them pack and haul everything out. HM and my dad talked in the hall real quick, and then they were off. I even managed to get my mom her Mother's Day card and make her cry :) (this is a good thing)
So all of HM's family woke up and we went to breakfast just down the street for him mom for Mother's Day. Then we went down the road to the beach, walked around on the sand, looked in the tidepools at crabs and seashells and walked along the pier. It was so relaxing! We saw a pod of dolphins and a few seals even. It was nice...a good ending.
That was pretty much it. My family made it back okay, a lot better than the trip here, and things are pretty good. I was so tired but I'm glad it all came out okay and that it's finally over with! :) HM got away with a few things that I can't explain here since some of my family reads this too, but he managed to keep everything hidden enough that they didn't notice. I don't think they will care even when they find out, but at least for his sake, I guess it made him feel better that they didn't know. So it was all okay, everyone has officially met and we can continue on! :) 11 maggio whew...well, their Final Portfolio is due today and I have corrected a whole boxful so far and only have 3 left over... that's not good. I have two more classes left today and usually I get 3-4 boxes... not good at all... but hey, at least that means less work for me over the weekend when I won't really have much time for that anyway. So I guess it's lucky that my students are slackers...
We are leaving after I get off school to head to San Diego and my graduation is tomorrow morning. My family will be here tonight and so they will finally all meet each other. Ah! :) HM got a haircut yesterday and I must say he looks very handsome... I think he is very nervous though so I'm interested to see how it'll go. I wonder I wonder... Hopefully everyone will just relax and get to know each other... Wish me luck!!! :) 09 maggio Black InkI know sometimes I complain about my kids and their writing, but sometimes I do think it is REALLY good and very amazing. For example :) This is the Introduction piece one of my girls did today for her Portfolio:
Black Ink Will you read the rest of this greeting if I tell you that I am a serial killer? How about if I tell you that I am a character that portrays the worst image in television. How about if I tell you that I am the anti-you and that I will be against all that you are. If when you took a look at me and I told you all of those things, would you trust me? And even if I do say that I am something special, that I am a martyr, would you take the time to know me? I am guessing that if you have read this far you were either interested in what I was going to say next, or that you didn’t care what I had first written. Maybe because you believe I cannot be a serial killer writing to you in an English class. Maybe you don’t believe, not yet, that I am the adult content corrupting in television. Maybe you just wanted to see it for yourself, and since you’re reading this, please do. Before I even sound like the slightest psycho roaming around classrooms and surrounding innocent students, I am neither a serial killer, nor am I even the tiniest part of television and I am not that which is against all that you are. I am just another kid testing to see whether you will judge me during your first impression of me or is you will judge me for what you’ll read in the next pages, or even if you will judge at all. I do agree that some of the following art, as I see it, is sad and distorted; but somehow there’s a moral to them. There is a little message somewhere camouflaged to teach a lesson. Most are fictional and fantasy-like but they reflect upon something that I have slid through as if my feet had been naked and the ice had just begun to get the coldest it has ever been. Behind each word there is personal history that only I can relate to perfectly. When it is somebody else’s turn to read one of my Finished Pieces, they sometimes gaze into confusion. This isn’t a warning at all, please go on and read my art. But I do want you to recognize that it is my life, my past, my everything, so please do not judge over just words that are written in black ink. --Lizeth Tinoco Junior Foothill High school 07 maggio Happy Birthday Jamie!!!I don't really remember when she was born. I don't remember the day. I remember my mom being pregnant with her though: the striped dress she wore. The baby shower. The way my mom's hair is in the pictures at the shower and how I remember seeing the gifts. Tracy gave my mom that cradle... I think that was Jamie. I remember things just being cute and everyone was excited to have her come.
After that my memory blurs and the next big thing I remember was traveling to Grandma and Grandpa Wickham's house to stay for a few days. Momma and Daddy had to go up to Primary Children's with Jamie was sick but I didnt' really know what was wrong with her. I played at G&G's house and I missed them and I wondered about how my sister was and if she was okay. Finally G&G told us that we were going to go up to SLC to meet up with out parents and see Jamie. I remember sitting at the dinner table in their kitchen the night before and hearing my Grandpa say the prayer for supper and mention Jamie and to "bless her that she will be okay and get better" and remember I started to cry because I missed my parents so much and I wondered if Jamie would be okay? I didn't know.
The next morning we drove to SLC and I remember it was very hot and sticky. We rode around and around the parking lot, looking for our parents and wondering when we would finally find them. They finally came out though and I was very excited to see my mom. I missed her alot. She had Jamie in her arms and I was the first one who got to hold her--probably because I practically climbed into my mom's lap in the car so it was hard to avoid! :) I remember my mom told me we had to be gentle with her and hold her head up because her neck wasn't as strong anymore. That was when I looked and saw her stitches on her neck but I still didn't know why she had them. Momma was talking as I held Jamie and I held her up and showed my mom how she was just fine and holding her head up on her own already: That's probably because she is back with her sister" my mom told me and I thought, yes, that is it. Jamie will feel better now that she is back with us, and with me. We went home after that and I remember watching Jamie's stitches heal and talking to my mom about the "inside stitches" that were also healing. I remember watching her pull out a string from what looked like a zit next to the stitches, a couple weeks later. That was weird!
Years later I learned the whole story of what was wrong with her: she had a tumor. It was entertwined among the veins and arteries in her neck and she was not expected to live. It was very rare and the three other babies the doctor had seen with this had all died. She had to have surgery to get it out but it was very tricky and she wasn't expected to survive it. My parents prayed, the whole ward fasted, and my dad gave her a blessing. The next morning they went in to do the surgery and did an x-ray right before and were shocked: the tumor had pulled away from all her arteries and was sitting, right at the edge of her neck in a little ball about the size of a chicken's egg. All they had to do was open up her neck, pluck it out and it was time to go home. She was the miracle baby.
After that I remember putting her to sleep. There were times when she would cry and cry and no one could get her to settle down. She would scream and scream and would not stop. The only person who could get her to go to sleep at those times, as my mom tells everyone, is me. I would take her into a quiet, dark room and walk her back and forth, sing songs to her (Silent Night) and rock her until she would fall asleep. The trick was putting her down. If you put her down too fast she would wake up and start to cry. You had to do it very very slowly so she couldn't tell that you were leaving her. It was like she got scared that she was being left alone or deserted and so she would cry to be held so she knew that you were still there. I moved oh so slow and put her down one inch at a time. Then I would pull out my arm, one small little inch at at time until I finally had my arm back. Sometimes this seemed to take hours and hours to do! Then I would put a blanket over her and put my hand on her chest so it felt like she was still being held. I propped blankets next to her so it would feel like she was sleeping next to someone.
As she got older I played with her all the time. I taught her to do all kinds of things and make all kinds of sounds. I used to do this line with her from Bill and Ted's where I would grab her shirt and say: "Look! We found your keys, and if you want them, better come and get'm!!" She would laugh hysterically and beg me to do it again and again and each time she would fall to the ground laughing at it all. I remember she had very fat little cheeks and so when she talked she always sounds like she had too many things in her mouth. We did her hair in pigtails and dressed her up and fed her and I took her on rides on my bike.
These days I doubt that my sister remembers any of this or that I spent so much time with her when she was little. These days she thinks we are so different and she's doing her own thing. It makes me sad sometimes that babies and kids cannot remember most of what happens and who spends so much time with them and loves them. I remember though and I still love her.
Happy Birthday Jamie! Moody MondayToday my classes are working on their Portfolios. I shush them and tell them to get to work and watch them. Elder Packer said that "The good teacher has already studied the lesson. The Superb teacher also studies the students; he studies them serioiusly and intently" (Teach Ye Diligently 104) I think of that quote--not in those words: it's simplified in my head to: A really good teacher studies their students. So I think of that, and I study my kids and I think about them and how to help them better.
My 2nd period is a group of kids who I call "my babies." D is in 9th grade as well but he seems much older than these kids and I have told him so. These kids seem like they are in about 6th grade... maybe 5th... They don't work very fast, I have to guide them step by step through everything and their vocabulary level is VERY low so I have to often often remind myself to speak simply, slowly and step by step so they will follow. I can't just explain and tell them, okay, get started. It has to be steps to accomplish, things to do, charts to fill out and lots and lots of modeling until they are comfortable enough to even start to put words on a paper. For some of them, that is the most terrifying thing ever: putting words on a paper. What if they spell the words wrong (they are HORRIFIC spellers) What if their ideas are made fun of? What if they are not good enough? What if... what if... what if.... so they sit there, and they stare at the blank paper, and refuse to put anything down at all, even though I have explained a million times. It's only after prodding and prodding from me, explaining again, and then once more, and then encouraging them again, that they will get started. Then they will write one sentence and wait for approval. Then a few more, then yes, that's really good, thanks for working and then if class is not over, they will start to write for real...
Today I feel moody because the year is almost over and I wonder, I anguish, I worry, about what I have done this year: Have I really helped anyone??? Have I been good to my students? Could I have done more? I know these are normal questions. I know I do this every year and I tell myself over and over: Recognize Cycles. This is normal and the answers are the same: YES, you helped: they needed YOU and no one else. YES, you love your kids, and even better: they know it. YES, you can always do more... The end of the year is always sad for me and I get moody like this because it's like I've adopted 130 teenagers and suddenly they are all leaving me and I have to go back to being just normal me, no kids to take care of every day. By the end of the summer I will be so homesick for my "kids" that I will be moody again, getting my room ready and waiting for them to come back, even though they are different kids. Really though? They seem like the same kids, just repeated. I passed a girl in my 7th period last Friday and without even thinking said: Hi Breanna! :) I didn't say it very loud thank goodness so I don't think she heard me. Her name is really Tawny, but without even realizing it, I connected her to my old student Breanna R from BHS and realized, wow, they do look exactly alike... and act alike... I never even realized that until I suddenly called her by the wrong name. Kids are kids, the same everywhere you go, repeated over and over in a million different personalities. The exact same, but taking their personalities at a different angle, a different background and making them work... or not work... for them or against them. Sometimes I wish I could give my kids more perspective, more of a sense of: you are not original, (even though they want so desperately to be special and original.) You are the same as everyone else, repeated and dealing with the same things your parents and everyone else in the world has for MILLIONS of years... learn learn and recognize your cycle. Recognize that what you are going through is a test, a cycle, a process and make it work.
Then, to try and break me from my moodiness and to pass the time, I read my book. Today I am reading The Effects of Light by Miranda Beverly-Whittemore. I bought it with HM and it was one that I wanted to read myself, because i don't know if he would like it or not. It seemed, and has proved to be, more of a moody English book I guess. More depressing and thoughtful and posing problems that you haven't thought about but are lovely to think on. This book up to page 121 is about two girls who are taken care of and babysat a lot of the time by their friend Ruth who is their father's friend. Ruth is a photographer and so what they do when she tends them, is she takes pictures of them. They love the attention and she is doing the whole artistic act of creation and composing. The only problem is that a lot of the time, she has the girls pose in the nude. One of the girls is 10 and the other is 15 and they see nothing wrong with this. Their father knows about it and the book goes back and forth from the past to the present, and I am just to the part where the past is about to have their first show of all the pictures. In the future, they tell you that the photos cause this big huge media frenzy with everyone calling the pictures child pornography. Suddenly the nice little photo shoots take on this black purpose. Anyway, the future is of the older girl, when she is 31 finally coming back to try and deal with the past. I guess somewhere among the frenzy, the younger girl was killed, but they haven't said why or how yet, and the father also dies of some disease I think and the photographer, Ruth, disappears. Again, I'm not that far. So the older girl runs away, changes her name and is finally coming back to try and work things out. Can you imagine? The way the story is told, it makes it seem innocent but only after the media and the public get involved do the girls realize that maybe this wasn't entirely appropriate. Interesting questions and I can't say I know the answer. I like books like this though where you dont' know the answer and you just have to read and see if the characters figure out this huge life question and find meaning in choas. Yes, i'm an English nerd...
Anyway, the other reason I am feeling moody is because of that feeling I get when I feel that I might have done something wrong and so I feel nervous. My transfer to GV is official now: the DO person called me and confirmed it and everything is cool. Dave and the principal are both excited about me coming there and the Principal told Dave that they were very lucky to have me (in an email he forwarded me) and so I am excited. But when i got to school this morning, I read my email and found one from my principal here, addressed to the DO guy, but CCed to me, telling him that I had not informed her at all of the transfer. She sounded a bit put off by it and I guess I should have told her but I didn't know that the DO guy would email the whole admin staff about it... But I guess he did and so now I feel like I have done something in hiding, behind their backs, transferring away from their school without even saying anything. And I guess that is what I did, but I wasn't really meaning to be secretive, I just didn't figure it would be a big deal, and that they would just get a notice and that is how it went. I didn't know that I needed to announce it, I thought the request and the notice would be news enough and that would be alright and I didn't know it would be so prompt! The DO guy called me late Friday afternoon so I thought I would have at least until Monday to put out the news as it were, and, this principal has only been her like... two months, so honestly, I doubted she would even know who I was, much less care if I transferred or not... but I did email her, she hasn't written back, but hopefully she won't be too upset about it. I feel nervous about it though. I don't want her to be mad at me, especially since she barely knows me at all! That is worse I think: to have people who don't even know you think bad things of you.
Last night, the last thing HM and I talked about was this coming weekend and about meeting the family. He just assumes and I think believes that they will not like him. I think they will but I'm nervous too though because he is the one I'm going to marry so of course I want them all to get along, but really, I have never brought guys home, ever. I wouldn't even tell my family when I was dating a guy, most of college unless I knew that it was getting a little more serious. So the fact that they are meeting him, that I am actually bringing a guy home, is nerve racking for me, just by its very principal and then to bring someone like HM who has so many reasons for them to say he's not good enough, and so many things he thinks they will think about him that I hope they don't. HM is such a sweetheart and such a changed man and I think all they will have to do it meet him to believe that he is what I say he is. I really do think they will like him and I am a little nervous, but at this point, honestly, I feel more like I just want this to happen already. The wedding, the meeting the family, the everything, just need to happen and be over with so we can all go back to being normal and not worrying about making impressions and proving things to each other. I'd like to skip all that and get to just getting to know each other and just living. HM can stop worrying and finally meet my family and see who they really are and how my family works and vice versa. I am confident things will all work out and be fine, I just want them to happen already! The anticipation is making me more nervous than I really am! Last night I had all these bad dreams about running around trying to solve a crisis and when we got there, finding out that things were alright, no crisis really at all. How is that for a little metaphoric analysis of how I am feeling? :) 05 maggio It's been a busy year for sureCongratulations John!
He graduated with his Masters on May 4th, 2006! :)
The new ForsytheI stole this picture from my sister's site since I've never gotten one. Isn't he cute? This is the newest addition to the family:
Blake Spencer Forsythe
Son of John and Chelsea Forsythe
04 maggio FridaysI forgot my lunch today... or actually I think I forgot to make it... whatever I did, I got to school and realized: hmm, no lunch. But that's okay I guess because we get out at 12:44pm today so only a couple more hours and I can go home and eat there. So in the meantime I am snacking on fig newtons, applesauce and Cheez-its. Is that healthy? :)
I'm loving this new blog style. Very bright and innovative and makes me want to write stupid things on it like I am now....
My sister is driving to Florida today, with her husband obviously, to work there for the summer. I think HM and I need to go visit :)
So some random thoughts that I've had for awhile and keep meaning to write about:
Poor people have poor ways. They don't have nice stuff and they don't take care of anything they have. So if it ever was nice, it won't be for nice. This side of town, there is litter, broken roads and shabby fences. On the other side of town there are clean roads, brick walls, and nice landscaping. The difference? People care. They have the money to care and to improve their surroundings. People who have money demand more: they demand better. If there were no sidewalks for the kids to walk to school on, they would do something about it, they would protest, they would rally, they would raise funds to fix it. Poor people just see it as one more thing that sucks about their life. If a fence is falling apart, no one fixes it. They are too busy with other things. If a table falls over, no one fixes it. If something falls on the ground, no one notices. They are too focused on their own problems.
As a teacher this is my constant frustration: kids don't have any pride in their surroundings. More than normal kids, they won't pick up after themselves. They won't put things back, they won't keep track of their stuff and make sure it's in order and the way it should be. They don't care. And really, what they are doing is compounding their problems. Their surroundings become shabby because they don't put any effort, so soon their stuff is ruined. They don't put their stuff away, so it gets lost or stolen and so they blame society and develop the philosophy that people always steal. I don't know how many times I have heard a kid say: "I can't find my work--someone stole it." No one stole it, I have corrected so many times, You lost it! Go look again and it's there, it's just your folder is in shambles! (and besides, I think to myself, how would they ever even find it to steal it anyway? All your stuff is a mess!) They ruin things--especially my reading books--because they throw them around, rip pages and don't pay attention and just are lazy in putting them away so they end up being stepped on or thrown on the floor. Grr... You wonder: what is their house like? Probably much worse than here...
HM and I are reading this book called The Poisonwood Bible. Can't remember who it's by. So far it's really entertaining and we are enjoying it a lot. It's about this family that goes to live in the Congo so their Father can be the Pastor for the local missionary effort. The book rotates chapters through the perspectives of the four girls and then at the end of every "book" the mother has one chapter where she tells her side of it all. The Father is depicted as a male-chauvenistic autocratic kinda guy who is so bent on converting the masses that he misses the whole point of it all and ignores his family. At least that's my opinion of him anyway. The cutest girl though is Ruth May, who is five. At dinner, one of the other girls explains that Father said that educating women was like pouring water into your shoes: the water will either run out and be ruined, or it will stay and ruin the shoe. (nice) Last night in the chapter we read, Ruth May explains that her Father told her she could not go to college becuase they'll put water in your shoes if you go. :) And since apparently this was such a bad thing, that it was better to just not go at all. :) I laughed really hard at that part. So much for his brilliant analogy! :) I'm excited to keep reading it though because the Mom's chapter was very mysterious and moody and hers was written AFTER they got back from Africa and she alludes to one of the girls dying... and it seems she left her husband... so we'll see. It's really good.
I wonder sometimes how my life would be different if I had not moved here to CA. I felt, and still feel, that this is where I was supposed to come and where I was supposed to be because it was where I needed to help people and where I would find HM... but as far as my family, I wish in a lot of ways that my calling could have been to a place closer to home... I miss my family and I wish I could be there more for them. I am so far away at times it seems. I try to keep in touch but since communication has never been a strong point in my family, it's easy to get the feeling that no one ever tells you what is really going on. I miss seeing my little brothers and being there every day to see them grow up. I played with both of them constantly as babies/toddlers and older and sometimes I feel I have been away for so long that they won't even remember the times I was home with them. Perhaps I will try and have them come out to visit me here in CA this summer? That would be good. It's really not THAT far to Btown but this next weekend will be the first visit my family has ever made--other than my sisters--to CA/Btown in the four years I have lived here. I've come home to UT lots of times, but they have never come to see me, oh wait, my parents did stop in one time because they were driving through kinda, stayed about 1/2 hour and sat in my apt and then left... Better than nothing though I guess. I think sometimes I get "blamed" if that is what you call it, for not being there or for not knowing things because I am so far away and how dare I not keep up with every detail of the family and how dare I be so far away and not live right near by so I can know all the details without them having to make an effort to tell me. Course they don't really bother keeping up with everything about me, but that isn't the point, how dare I not know all about them... Whatever, there is only so much you can do and the door has to swing both ways in order for everyone to be happy. I have found that people are a lot happier when they feel YOU are paying attention to THEM...Even if they aren't returning the favor. I know they are proud of me though, and that this will all be good but it's kinda weird sometimes... 03 maggio Who knowsI talked to "someone" today and they mentioned something they read on this and I thought, wow, who knew... Sometimes I think perhaps I speak too much of my mind sometimes, not really realizing that there are people who read this that I never know about because they never make any COMMENTS (hint hint...) and let me know they are here... but I should be more careful who I say here I guess in case someone reads this and gets offended... I guess the only downside to this is that if they DON'T leave comments, I can never respond to things when they think to themselves: "That's not how I remember that..." Well, maybe you should say that and I could say in return: hey, I'm always right, let's just remember this crucial fact :) lol... just kidding. Hello though, to all you ghosts out there who read this and don't say a word...
Whew, so today it's COLD for california standards: a whole 70 degrees and you would think we were all going to freeze right to death. I am wearing long sleeves today even, and layered two shirts even so make it warmer.... despite these precautions though, I am still in capris and flip flops :) so I guess I'm not that bundled up against the frigid weather--hey, it's california! What do you expect?? :) I'm seriously considering going home and making some hot chocolate and snuggling with HM and reading or something....
So this is my prep and I'm bored. Here in a second I have a few things I can get up and do but really, things are all prepped and ready to go and hmmm... Write random things on my blog... check...
It's interesting to see the difference between families. Being around HM's family has caused me to look at a lot of the things that my family does and wonder why we do the things we do... It's interesting that a lot of the habits and traditions are linked to reactions to other relationships...
For example, HM's family is very open about all the details of using the bathroom: diahrea, gas, or anything--they will tell you everything! No inhibitions... They've asked me about my family and I've always just laughed and said, well we just aren't like that, we don't talk about stuff like that (heathens)... but why??? So this is my theory, you want to hear?
My Grandma didn't always get along with my Dad, in fact for years she wouldn't really speak to him. Stories are told of my Dad kicking my Grandma out of the house for being mean to my mom, or bossing her around, and I don't know if they ever physically removed her from the premisis but the threat was definitely made... Anyway, so I think in general, we take our parents side and Grandma, while nice and wonderful, is seen as "the dark side" in a way. Not an enemy but more of a "don't be like that" kinda sense.
So my Grandma is Canadian and one of the things she does that my Dad always complains about she does is that she'll tell you the INTRICATE details of all her bowel movements--whether you want to hear them or not! We thought she was just weird for the longest time, but I guess the concensus after living in Canada is that she is just Canadian and that's how they are there. True or not, I'm not sure, but it's a good excuse. It's like in what... "Batman Begins" when the girls jump in the fountain: "Oh they're European" :) or on Crocodile Dundee when he grabs the lady "it's okay, he's australian..." Well, my Grandma is Canadian :)
So because of this, at least this is my theory, all those characteristics named as things Grandma does, are seen as bad things to do or say. HENCE: you do not talk about farting or pooping or having problems with the plumbing because that is something Grandma would do and so you should not do that.
So HM's family starts talking about all kinds of things their bowels have been up to and I think to myself: why would you talk about that? But they don't seem bothered by it at all, more amused or even entertained by it all... And they hear that my family does not and they all gasp and think, wow, why not??? And I think, well... we aren't heathens for one... :) but two, maybe it's just a family tradition to not be like Grandma and so that means: no discussing the bodily functions--it's rude. :)
Anyway, gotta run. My kids are sure dumb sometimes but so cute... ya gotta love them. I think I have had more kids fail straight out, all year, no change, than I have ever in my teaching career... *sigh*
New ThingsWhew... I've had that background for awhile and so I decided it was time for a new ghetto style summer look :) So there you go.
Also, just found out today that my little sister James has a blog! It's not that "old" but still, who knew. So check her's out, here it is:
Welcome to the world sis! :)
(this picture cracks me up every time!) :) |
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